one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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