Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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