just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
