I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
