You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
