Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
