check it out our google latitudes are spooning
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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