just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
