Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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