how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
