So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
