She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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