i think i have two assholes
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
