We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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