Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
