If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
