Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
