This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
