T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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