how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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