I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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