my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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