I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
