ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
