Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
third nipple confirmed
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
