ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
