she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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