I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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