I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
