I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
