Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
