i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
