You just made me feel so damn special
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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