I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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