garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
