walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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