I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
