Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I would fuck him just for his dog
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
