The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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