You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize