Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
As shirtless as possible
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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