whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
