You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
NoShamevember. You game?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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