Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
we should paint friendship bongs
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