READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
