Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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