Is it because I queefed?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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