Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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