Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
