I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Watching her eat just hurts me
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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