Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
