I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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