i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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