Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
