He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
