wrigley field is MILF paradise
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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