My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
