I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
