I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize