im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
