She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
