On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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