Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I could fuck to npr.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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