I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
