That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
