Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize