did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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