My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
