Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
