are you still at the devil's house?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
