I wannas sexs uuuuu
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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